Yearly Intentions Report: The Poem Revision Edition

You would think that with two snow days this week, three actually counting cancelled church on Sunday, I wouldn't feel desperate for some early morning writing time.  And yet, at 1:30 when I couldn't fall back asleep, I decided to get up for a bit.  I've enjoyed this early morning writing time so much that I didn't go back to sleep.

I've done a bit of writing in my offline journal.  I went to my first online class for this semester, the one I'm taking not teaching, the Lutheran Foundations class at United Lutheran Seminary.  I wanted to do some offline journaling about my anxiety around the class, anxieties that have turned out to be mainly scheduling and logistics anxiety.  Those anxieties lifted a bit, at least for this week, as the class progressed yesterday.  It also helped to write about it.

Then I turned my attention to a poem I've been revising.  I first started writing it on January 15.  I was inspired by Jan Richardson's poem about wise women also coming to the baby Jesus.  Here's the first stanza I created, as originally written, complete with automatic capitalization that I go back to correct as I revise:

The women stay behind
While the wise men head west,
Following a star,
Hoping for regime change
Or at the very least, control
Of the narrative. The women melt
The old candles into something new.

On January 24, I did some work on the poem, enough work to justify creating a new document that I labeled as an intermediate draft.  Here's the intermediate revision:

The wise women stay behind.
The wise men head west,
following a star,
hoping for regime change
or at the very least, control
of the narrative.

The women keep
the lamps lit. In the long winter
afternoons, they melt
the old candles into something new.
The children decorate the new creations
while the grandmothers
tell their tales and fill
their hearts with hope.

This morning, I decided that it was time to actually finish the draft.  I was partly inspired by the end of the month approaching and my intention to end the year with 52 finished drafts.  I was successful, and then I thought about revising another poem--that would mean I am on track for the year, not slightly behind.  

I've decided that my intention to finish drafts can extend to rough drafts written before 2026, so I went back to my folder of rough drafts.  I pulled out a rough draft from December, about Noah's wife looking at Realtor.com and seeing her old house.  I should be able to finish that revision by tomorrow.  I'm waiting to see if some final lines come to me today as my brain works on the ending.

New Bishops, New Weather Reports

Once again, I am looking at weather reports.  But I'm also looking at pictures of the installation service (right term?) for Sarah Mullally, the new Archbishop of Canterbury, the head of the Anglican church worldwide.  These pictures were posted widely on Facebook, so I'm hoping it's O.K. to post them here.  

Posted at the St. Paul's Cathedral Facebook Site

In this context, I mean Anglican as in the Church of England, not the group that broke away because the Church of England is too radical.  Ordaining women would be seen as evidence of that radicalism, not to mention choosing a woman to lead the whole church.

Posted at the St. Paul's Cathedral Facebook site

I'm struck by how young she is in terms of her career as a pastor.  She had a career as a cancer nurse before her ordination in 2002; she was in her first bishop position in 2015.  She was born in 1962, so some folks (me) might see her as young, while others might sigh and wish for even younger leadership.

Posted on the Canterbury Cathedral Facebook page

The above picture first grabbed my attention.  What must it be like to be the stonecarver, engraving her name into the wall?  Does one have to work up to that position?

And what must it be like to be the one to see their name on the wall?

It's a tough time to come to leadership, but one thing my Church History class taught me is that it's always a tough time to be a bishop or an Archbishop or even a pastor.  I'm hoping for easy weather for her, for all of us.

Snow Days Come to an End

Today our snow day mini-vacation comes to a close, albeit with qualifications:  if the road conditions are unsafe, just let your instructor/supervisor know.  I've already had several e-mails from students.  I thought about writing such an e-mail myself, but I went for a walk yesterday afternoon, and the roads were clear and dry.

I'm still adjusting my lesson plans for the rest of the week.  I'll give my morning class, the English 101 both today and Friday to write their essays, and we'll do peer editing on Monday.  My two afternoon classes are English 102 classes.  I'm leaning towards doing the same class and in-person daily writing on both today and Friday--students can choose which one to attend.  Those who can't make it today aren't penalized, and neither are those who made an extra effort to make it back.  And it keeps my MWF classes more in sync with the TT classes than other approaches.  It's an experiment, and if it doesn't work beautifully, it's not a huge deal.  And it may give me insight.

I have gotten a lot done during these snow days--not all that I thought about getting done, but enough.  I even pulled out the shop vac yesterday and vacuumed up some of the spots that are impossible with a broom.  

I haven't gotten as much exercise as I might have, had the roads been passable before yesterday afternoon.  But that's O.K. too--it would be better if I had been eating more sensibly, but that's O.K. too.  I have managed to stay calm and less anxious, without drinking or going for a walk, two of the coping techniques I'm most likely to use when I'm feeling anxious.

To be clear, eating treats is also one of my most used coping techniques in dealing with anxiety, so I've used that strategy more than I might have otherwise.  I've also tried writing in my offline journal, another effective technique.

It will be good to get back into my regular schedule--albeit a regular schedule that's about to change with tomorrow's first Lutheran Confessions class.  I did spend some time with the course materials yesterday.  The syllabus gives more insight about the writing expectations than I realized when I wrote yesterday's blog post.  The writing looks very manageable.  I read the assignment in the textbook yesterday morning--a delightful book.  I have not yet opened The Book of Concord, which I predict I will not like as much.  I just don't find pre-20th century theology as appealing as the theology that comes later.

Posted late because . . .

Snow Days and School Days and Anxiety

This morning, I'm feeling oddly anxious.  I have much less reason to feel anxious this week than last.  The ice storm wasn't as bad as we feared it might be.  I had been worried that the seminary class that I'm taking starts Thursday, and I haven't gotten a Zoom link or seen a course shell uploaded in Canvas--this morning, it's there.  We have power, internet, and water, and I have another remote learning day today, so I don't have to worry about the roads.  My spouse had jury duty today--also cancelled.

So why the anxiety?

I've been trying to get to the bottom of my anxiety, trying to understand.  I'm sure part of my anxiety stems from my schedule ramping back up again--so, even though this week includes some extra time at home, most weeks won't be like this.  I've also been feeling anxiety about taking another seminary class with worries about all that could go wrong trying to take root in my brain.  What if the Zoom link doesn't work?  What if the class requires too much of me?  What if this class is the one that breaks me?

I do have to laugh at myself.  I've been taking online classes for 5 years, and I've never run into problems I couldn't solve.  I explored the course shell, and the assignments look manageable.  I have the textbooks.  And then there's the larger situation:  I'm not a 25 year old, just starting out on my life's journey.  I have a full-time job that doesn't depend on this seminary class.

My anxiety might also be sadness masquerading as anxiety.  Why am I sad?  Well, I've enjoyed these snow days, even as I felt anxious about all the ice that might fall.  I'm sad to see this snow vacation come to an end, sad even as I have at least one more day to enjoy.

Let me make a list of some moments that I don't want to slip away:

--I've enjoyed the cooking we've done,  from the seafood stew on Saturday to last night's homemade pizza made in cast iron pans.  I've baked bread, both an oatmeal bread on Saturday and a pumpkin bread this morning.

--We watched Sinners on Saturday--what an amazing movie!  If it hadn't gotten so much Oscar buzz, I might have skipped it, thinking it would be too gory a horror movie.  Thankfully, the gory parts weren't too gross, and the horror bits weren't haunting.

--I've done a lot of sewing and sorting of fabric.  I decided that I was ready for a change from the Christmas fabrics that I had been using, so yesterday I made the shift back to the same type of project, sewing log cabin patchwork out of scraps, but using a wider variety of fabrics.

--Yesterday I took an unintended nap.  I had laid down in the late morning to watch the glitter snow that developed in the morning but was only visible when seen through sunshine.  The trees gleamed through their ice glaze.  Next thing I knew, I was waking up from a deep kind of nap.

Snow Days, Grown Up Style

So far, we've continued to have electricity, internet, and water as the various weather systems swirl around us.  This morning, the wind is howling, and I've already heard a transformer pop, which only resulted in a tiny flicker of the lights.  Our luck may not hold, but I'm not afraid of being without power for hours or days the way I was last week.  There was a tree that went down in our neighborhood yesterday, taking a power line with it.  It only affected the lower part of the neighborhood, and it only took 90 minutes for power to be restored.

We are still stuck in the house, which I expected.  The precipitation that we got was mostly ice and freezing rain, which means that outdoor surfaces are a solid sheet of ice, which again makes me feel fortunate to have power.  We were lucky that the freezing rain shifted to regular rain Sunday afternoon and that the temperature stayed just above freezing during the afternoon and much of the night.

My school has canceled in-person classes both today and tomorrow.  They'll make a decision about Wednesday before noon tomorrow, but I may not be able to make it in regardless.  On MWF, I leave my house for campus before sunrise, and we are expecting a time of bitterly cold weather, which means the frozen stuff will still be with us.

I've been trying to make good use of my time.  I created a worship time for my congregation in Bristol (live streamed by way of Facebook, then put on my YouTube channel for those who don't use Facebook)--if you want more thoughts on this process, you can read this post on my theology blog.  I still have some work to do on my course shells for Spartanburg Methodist College, but I did get documents uploaded.  Maybe today and tomorrow I can get gradebooks set up.  I sent out e-mails and created announcements for my online classes that started last week.  I did some sewing and some poem writing and some sending out of poems and some cooking.

How lovely to think that I have two more days of this.  How lovely that I am not desperate to leave the house.

Hurricane Prep, Winter Storm Prep

It's been an interesting process, preparing for this widespread winter storm.  In some ways, it's reminded me of hurricane prep, especially in terms of making sure we have the supplies that we need, in case we're cut off from the world for several days.  

But of course, a winter storm is different than a hurricane.  I haven't been worried about the perishable food in the refrigerator--if we lose power, we can put the food outside.  I have been researching carbon monoxide risks with a propane heater that's rated for indoor use, something we never would have needed in South Florida.

Just like with a hurricane, it's hard to know what part of the storm will arrive with what intensity.  So far, we're doing fairly well here, but that could change this afternoon.  And let me be clear, when I say we're doing fairly well here, I am not leaving the house because of the wintry mix that fell and keeps falling and the slick surfaces.  But we have electricity, and so far, the tree branches seem to be their normal shape.

I have gotten most of my information through various online weather sites, not the TV news.  I wonder if the coverage is the same kind of intensity as hurricane approaching coverage.  One of my colleagues at Spartanburg Methodist was so freaked out by it all that she left town, and there was a moment when I wondered if she took the wiser approach.  If the ice had been thicker, if we were out of power for a week or more, I'd say that she was the smart one.  I may yet--we still have hours of precipitation yet to fall.

I do wonder how much of my jitteriness has also been because of Hurricane Helene.  I filled up the stock pot with water, to go with some of our jugs of water left over from Helene--just in case the water system goes down.  Before Hurricane Helene, I wouldn't have thought I needed to worry about that here in the mountains.

I'm glad we decided to cancel worship.  I would not have been able to make it across the mountain, and I am guessing that the roads in Bristol, Tennessee are as bad or worse than they are here.  

My spouse suggested that I do an abbreviated worship, and so I experimented with that this morning.  I did a Facebook Live broadcast on my Facebook page, and then I captured the video so that I could put it on my YouTube channel (you can view it here).  The Facebook post has already gotten more views than almost anything else I've done there.  I don't really know what counts as a view, so I am not reading too much into this.

I'll close with a prayer I wrote for the Sunday devotional time:  

Creator God, as we wait for the storms to pass, give us patience and strength. Help us to remember that you are with us in every kind of weather, both the literal weather and the other types of storms that threaten us. Inspire us to be the light of the world, today and every day.

Epiphany Stars and Haiku-like Creations

It is lovely to have a morning where I'm not racing around doing storm prep.  Yesterday I decided that I should leave even earlier than my usual MWF time of 7:15-7:30, so I was out the door just after 6.  I was able to get more gas for the car and stop by the grocery store one last time.  It turned out to be a wise decision.  I was able to get some ice melt granules, the ingredients for the seafood stew (recipe here) I want to cook today, and treats.

I wasn't sure what to expect in terms of student attendance yesterday.  Thursday night, the e-mail announcing distance learning on Monday went out.  I decided that I would hold class as normal, to respect the students who did come to class.  My 9 a.m. class was only missing 2 students, the normal absence rate.  By my afternoon class, the e-mail from the school president had gone out, telling students that we're looking at a significant ice storm and that they should go home if possible.  Still, I decided to have class.

Let me record the poetry writing experiment that I did with my English 102 students.  

On Wednesday, we looked at versions of the arrival of the Magi, which I described in this blog post.  Yesterday, I brought in poems inspired by the text, along with epiphany stars with words on the back.  

I began by having them choose three stars and writing the words on a piece of colored paper that I gave them.  I then talked about the ways I've used the stars as a pastor, the ways I describe in this post.  I had them think about the words while I passed out the first poem, Jan Richardson's "Wise Women Also Came."  As I read the poem, I had the students underline words and phrases that struck them for any reason, at least three.  We did the same thing with T.S. Eliot's "The Journey of the Magi."  We also had a bit of conversation.

I gave each student three more stars, and then we returned to the yellow sheets of paper.  I had them write one of the lines that they had underlined on the yellow paper.  Then they wrote one of the new star words.  Then they wrote words that rhymed with the star word or words that started with the same letter.  They wrote another line from the poem that they had underlined and another star word.  Then they wrote a New Year's resolution, theirs or someone else's.  Then another line from the poems and another star word.  I put this sentence on the board (You will ___________) and asked them to imagine that they met a wise sage that could foretell the future from the stars; what would they want the sage to fill in the blank or to say to them?  Then I had them write another line from the poem.

Now they had a lot of stuff on the yellow paper, and we moved to the condensing part of the creation process.  I showed them my collage with the haiku-like creation I created a few weeks ago with my neighborhood friend and creativity partner:

Here's the haiku-like creation that I wrote:

Wise ones return home
but by a different way
empire's long shadow.

I do tell them that there's so much more to haiku than just the syllable count, but for now, we're only focusing on syllables, as a way to try condensing ideas and lines into something that might be more profound, but it doesn't have to be.

We took the last 10 minutes of class for students to try their hand.  They came up with some interesting short/haiku-like creations.  If I had more time, it would be interesting to add collaging to this process, to see if images prompt anything different.

This experience has been so fruitful that I'm adding it to my list of possibilities for my creative writing class.  

And now, since the day is not going to improve in terms of weather, let me go out on a walk.  I am not likely to have a chance to walk outside again for the next few days, in the storm and its aftermath.