Tornado Warning with Biopsy Results (Skin Cancer, Nothing Too Scary)

I was keeping an eye on the weather yesterday--but then again, I'm often keeping an eye on the weather.  In the late afternoon, the sky got dark, sunset dark, but we were far away from sunset.  The thunderstorm watch was upgraded to a warning, and the wind picked up.  I plugged in my phone; I wanted to have a full charged phone, just in case we might be about to lose power for while. 

I saw the tornado warning three minutes before it ended.  I'm not sure why my phone didn't sound an alert.  Happily, the storm never swooped south to us; I have a friend in North Asheville who lost power and internet.  Our lights only flickered once.

The wind died down, and we went back to watching Ride or Die.  It's a compelling show:  female friendship and assassins set in London and maybe now moving into Europe. I can't figure out where it's going, but I like the ride.  It's got enough funny moments to keep me hooked.  The violence is a bit much, but so far, I can tolerate it.

The other afternoon event of note:  I got a phone call from the dermatologist.  The biopsy from my July 1visit came back showing a basal cell on my shoulder.  I will go in today to get the spot scraped again.

In some ways, it's not a big deal.  But it will be my 3rd skin cancer in the last seven months.  In some ways, it's to be expected.  With a melanoma diagnosis, my doctor is keeping a much closer eye on my skin and sending in more samples to be diagnosed.  But it's sobering in many ways.

I also feel like I shouldn't make a big deal out of skin cancer, when other people are having much more serious biopsies done.  But I also see the big scar on my arm from the melanoma surgery; it's fading, but it's still noticeable.

Today I start the day with the dentist and end with the dermatologist.  It seems a commentary on modern life, or maybe just my life.

Car Inspections and Jesus Rewiring a Fixer-Upper

Yesterday was one of those days when maintenance tasks went more smoothly than anticipated.  It's almost August, the time for car safety inspections so that the annual car registration can be paid--in time to do the payments by mail, because the in-person process is a nightmare, only superseded by getting an NC driver's license.

I try to do the safety inspections early because both cars are older (2014 Prius and 2019 Rogue), and with age comes the chance that something will be wrong.  Happily, yesterday's inspections were quick and smooth, plus an oil change and tire inspection/alignment for the Rogue.  Last year, the process was more cumbersome because I was working full-time hours doing CPE at the Asheville VA Hospital.

The afternoon was a combination of cooking, movie watching (the both compelling and baffling Love Lies Bleeding), and grading for my online classes.  In the late afternoon, I had some phone conversations, which is unusual for me, two long phone calls in one afternoon.  In one case, I realized I hadn't heard from an old college friend in awhile; he usually calls on our birthdays as well as other points, so not hearing from him was worrisome.  Happily, he's fine, but doing a lot of traveling.  I also had a long chat with my cousin.

I had that first of the season realization that evenings are getting a smidge darker earlier.  I had already realized that morning light filters through later.

This morning, I returned to a poem idea I had on Sunday:  Jesus rewires the fixer-upper.  Careful readers of this blog might say, "Wait, did you finish the poem about Jesus buying the fixer-upper?"  No, I haven't even started.  One reason I value this blog is as a repository of ideas and inspirations that are easy to find later.

I still plan to get back to that original idea, but Sunday as I was walking, this next poem, which may be part of a series, came to me as I was thinking about our own experience working with professionals to get our Spartanburg fixer-upper rewired.  Could Jesus say the word and have the wiring fix itself?  Does Jesus respect/fear the laws of electricity/physics more than the laws of biology which govern the human body?

I'm still in the process of creating the poem.  I used the verb "wrestling," but this morning's writing hasn't been a struggle.  I started the poem not knowing where it would end, which is not how I always write.  In fact, I'm more likely to think and think and think about a poem idea and figure it all out--for some poems, this process results in writing out a finished poem with few surprises, and for some poems, I figure out that it's not worth the effort of typing it into the computer.

I like the potential for surprise that comes from starting before I figure it all out.  Here are the lines that surprised me this morning:

Jesus knows that first you must
cast out the demons of ungrounded
wires and faulty connections.

Last Full Week of Summer

This week is my last full week of summer.  Of course, it's not exactly summer in its no-working glory, the way that some might assume.  I'm still teaching 2 online classes for Broward College; a week ago, I'd be turning in grades for the 2 online classes I taught at Spartanburg Methodist College.  I'm still a part-time minister at Faith Lutheran in Bristol, Tennessee.

I've had academic work to do as a student.  At the beginning of summer, back in May, I still had several weeks of the Lutheran Confessions class that I was taking.  On Saturday, I turned in the paper on Paul for the Paul class I took in June.  I also had a huge writing project for the Candidacy Endorsement process, a project that was due last Monday.

But not having to commute to Spartanburg every week day has left me lots of time.  Not teaching 5 days a week in person has left me lots of time.  I've used some of this time in volunteer work:  mail delivery for camp, making cookies for counselors, and doing quilting for Lutheran World Relief with the local Lutheran church.

I've also had time to walk.  I've walked almost every day, which is almost impossible during the 8 months that onground classes are in session.  In some ways, I've been eating in a super-nutritious way too, with lots of veggies from farmer's markets.  The tomatoes this year are perfect, unlike last year when the tomato farmer told me there was too much rain.  I don't eat as many beans in the summer, unlike in the winter where I bring a mix of garbanzo beans, lentils, barley, and chopped veggies for lunch at school.

I've also had time for friends and family--but then again, I try to make time for friends and family throughout the year.  I always think of the ones I'm not seeing, those who don't live too far away and those who do.

This week will be a similar mix of what we've had the past 3 months:  teaching tasks, maintenance tasks (car and dentist this week), walking, cooking, strategizing how to get the fixer-upper house into a more livable state, some time with friends, sermon writing, sewing to do on my quilt top.  I am a lucky woman.

The Feast Day of Saint James

Today we celebrate the life of James, one of the 12 disciples, the first to be martyred (Acts 12:1 tells us by Herod's sword). He's known as James the Greater (to distinguish him from James the Lesser, James the son of Alphaeus). He's the brother of John. He was one of the first to join Jesus, and Jesus chose him to go up the mountain to witness the Transfiguration. He is the patron saint of veterinarians and pharmacists, among others.

Lately, I've heard more about St. James, as more people become aware of the pilgrimage that involves walking to his shrine in Santiago de Campostela in Spain from a variety of starting points. Walkers who cover 100 km or cyclists who cover 200 km get a compostela, a certificate, and a blessing.

St. James is associated with scallops, and if you look at a map, you'll see that the pilgrims arriving from a variety of beginning points to the same end point does look like a scallop shell. There are now travel agencies that will help pilgrims, but I've been told that it's not hard to set up one's own journey. There are all sorts of lodgings along the way, all sorts of support.

In 2023, I finally saw the Martin Sheen/Emilio Estevez movie, The Way, which features this pilgrim's path. I'd love to actually walk part of it, but it seems increasingly unlikely. But life has taught me never to say never. If I could go on the Santiago or Iona, I'd probably choose Iona, but who says I would have to choose.

I'm not the only one who finds the idea intriguing. In 1985, only 690 pilgrims made it to the end point, the Cathedral of Santiago de Campostela; recently, 179,919 pilgrims completed the journey. The most hardcore pilgrims walk barefoot. I would not be one of those pilgrims.

A few years ago, one of my good church friends figured out how to walk part of the Santiago de Campostela, how to make sure her pets and children were taken care of for 2 weeks, and off she went with her husband. I found her journey so inspiring. She kept a blog while walking and has continued to keep writing posts in her "regular" life.

Let us remember that we're all on a variety of pilgrimages, even if we're not leaving the house. Let us remember that God is with us.

Getting the Band Back Together

Yesterday I spent much of the day shopping and getting ready for our South Florida church friend's arrival for dinner--which is odd since I wasn't buying food for dinner.  But it was that time of year when it was time to restock on basic pantry staples and over the counter meds and such.

I spent far too much time trying to think about what would be best for dinner.  In some ways, I was lucky:  my friend's only request was not to have lettuce (future readers may have forgotten the cyclospora outbreak of this summer which is much wider than usual, but as usual, linked to lettuce grown on factory farms).  I thought about grilling.  I thought about vegetarian dishes.  I know my friend has been traveling and not gotten much in the way of homecooked meals.  I thought about pot pie.  The idea of a cozy chicken casserole began to take shape in my mind, and that's what we ended up having.

I had this picture in mind as I thought about our dinner:

This picture is from Easter Sunrise Service 2021 at Trinity Lutheran Church in Pembroke Pines, Florida.  I'm on the upright bass, which belongs to Piper who is standing beside me.  Piper was here for Music Week a few weeks ago, and Eileen (in the blue dress) was our dinner guest last night.  Carl, my spouse, is on the violin.

I thought about staging something similar last night, with a witty caption about getting the band back together.  But I didn't want to disrupt the good vibes of the night.  We had a great meal of chicken and broccoli rice casserole with a mushroom white sauce holding it together, maple glazed carrots, homemade bread, and blueberry pie for dessert.  We had wonderful conversation.  We haven't seen each other since summer 2022, so we had lots to catch up on.

In one light, it's sobering to think of what's happened since this picture was taken:  people moved away, people dead, buildings gone.  But it's also inspiring:  new jobs, new houses, new churches.

But what I love best:  we could pick up right where we left off.  I'm fortunate to have so many friendships that are like that.

More Late Summer Gratitudes

Two weeks from today, I'll be getting ready to drive down to Spartanburg for a day of meetings, faculty workshops, and not just one but two meals.  Those of you who have never worked in a place with a day of meetings and faculty "development," but no food or coffee provided may not understand why I am so happy and grateful to be in a place where we get food along with our trainings and meetings.

But what I'm most grateful for is finding myself in a place where faculty are appreciated.  That appreciation takes the form of food or a verbal thank you during meetings or supplies . . .  on and on the list could go.  It seems so simple and yet in so many places, berating seems to be the default, not appreciation.

Today, though, I want to post about summer gratitude, here in these waning days of summer.  I've already touched on some of my gratitude, like for summer veggies which turns into good eating (in this blog post) and creative time with friends (in this blog post about making cut paper cards) and Music Week gratitudes of all sorts.

Earlier this week, I saw a Facebook post from Beginnings Quilt Shop about a birthday party for Georgia Bonesteel and inviting us all to stop by on Tuesday from 10-noon.  I was relatively free, so I decided to pop by.  And I'm so glad I did!

Georgia Bonesteel's books on lap quilting were some of the first I read, and while I never could figure out how to put the smaller quilted pieces together into a larger quilt, I was inspired by her work.  I was one of the first ones at the shop, and I had a chance to tell her how much her work meant to me, and that felt great.  I was not starstruck and mute, the way I have found myself in my younger years approaching writers whose work had meant a lot to me.  She asked me what I was working on, and I had a photo on my phone that I pulled up, the one I posted Tuesday morning:

We chatted a bit more, and I moved over to get a piece of cake, so that I wasn't monopolizing her time--even though there weren't others waiting their turn.  

I considered some pieces that had potential as a backing fabric for the quilt, but decided it was better to wait until I'm sure of how big a backing I need.

Yesterday I zipped down to the Spartanburg house to deliver yet another light fixture, in the hopes that we can get a final inspection on the fixer-upper house rewiring.  In some ways, I don't mind.  It's a lot less commuting than I do in the school year.  I was also able to pay the water bill in person.

In the afternoon, I went to the Lutheran World Relief quilting group at Lutheran Church of the Nativity, the Lutheran church around the corner from my Arden house.  They are a wonderful group, and I'm happy to have a chance to work with them, as I have been doing for 4 years.   

We also got the phone call that both final inspections (for the HVAC and the rewiring) are scheduled for Friday--fingers crossed!  Then we can figure out what makes sense for a timeline for the remaining work that we need to get done before we move in:  painting the interior and refinishing the hardwood floors. 

I was very tired by day's end, and I finally gave in to my urge to go to bed, even though it was only 6:30.

Today one of our South Florida church friends is coming by for dinner.  I am looking forward to catching up, grateful that she's the one on her way back to Florida (she, too, has moved away from South Florida, but not out of the state), not me.

I have been feeling such joy this summer and so much gratitude, along with feeling a bit odd about feeling this way.  The world is burning, both literally and figuratively, and my mood doesn't match.  I'm grateful about that ability too, to be aware of my good fortune, to try to help others, and to be able to have such joy, even with the sorrows that come from being 61.

Poems for the Feast Day of Mary Magdalene

Today is the feast day of Mary Magdalene.  If you came here hoping for a historical and theological and feminist type blog post, I wrote that type of blog post for my theology blog, which you can read here.

This morning, I'm thinking of Mary Magdalene and the way she has appeared in poetry.  My favorite is Marie Howe's Magdalene is my favorite, both the book and the individual poem, "Magdalene--The Seven Devils" (the poem is here).

And a sidenote before continuing with this post:  I do realize all the ways that talking about demon possession is problematic, and I do think that characterizing Mary Magdalene as a prostitute possessed by demons was a way that the early Church tried to discredit her.  Back to poetry.

Howe's poem is so fabulous that I hesitate to post mine here; I'm fairly sure that I had not read her poem when I wrote the two poems below.  I wrote one and then a few years later, decided to revisit the idea in the poem that I thought had more potential.  It's an interesting insight into the ways that poems can influence each other, talk to each other, and lead to different poems.

Here's the first one, which I wrote after reading the passage in Acts where the slave girl has her demons cast out, which makes her valueless, since she can no longer forecast the future.

Demon Dwellings



Mary Magdalene misses
the sixth demon the most,
the one who was her best self,
the one who knew what to say,
how to dress,
how to make the best cocktail,
the one who slept
peacefully through the night.

The slave girl misses
all her demons—
no one else would talk
to her when she was possessed.
No one talks to her now.

I eat dinner with homeless men,
and I remember my mother explaining
demon possession as an ancient
way to explain mental illness.
The homeless man rants in a language
not quite human, and I ponder
those demons and their destiny.

Here's the poem I wrote a few years later, when I was continuing to think about Mary Magdalene and what healing from demon possession might be like, especially after Jesus was gone.

The Fifth Demon



You moderns read about my demon
possession, and you think of The Exorcist:
gravel voices out of the mouths of schoolgirls,
mouths that spew gobs of green goo.


I tell you, it wasn’t like that. Each demon
had a unique personality, a tone
that only I could recognize. In the night,
the hiss of their suggestions soothed
me into sleep. By day, their constant
criticisms and complaints proved motivation.

And then I met Jesus. His voice
filled my head and crowded out the demons.
His stories left me slightly dizzy,
like I had spent weeks sleeping
on a sailing ship and returned to land.

I miss the fifth demon most.
I lost them, and then I lost
him, and now I have only the tomb
of my empty mind.