Fan Letter for Forgotten Poem, "The Moon Remembers"

Like many others, I get the occasional e-mail that tells me that the sender can help me find new readers for my brilliant books, millions and millions of readers.  Yesterday I got a different e-mail, an old-fashioned fan letter of sorts.  

The e-mail writer told me that she had selected my poem for a specific reason:  "This is to let you know that as a member of a Lectio Poetry group that met this morning, I chose your poem 'The Moon Remembers' for our session. Because of the recent NASA mission to send humans farther into space than ever before, and to study the dark side of the moon, I felt fortunate to find your poem to share."

The e-mail concluded this way, "In this world of chaos, 'The Moon Remembers' gave us an hour of peace, of joy, of hope."

Wow--what writer could hope for more than that?  I mean that sincerely.  It is one of the reasons I write, in the hopes of bringing something positive to people.

I don't get many fan letters anymore, and the ones that I get are usually about "Heaven on Earth," perhaps my most famous poem, read on Garrison Keillor's The Writer's Almanac.  Yesterday's e-mail referenced "The Moon Remembers."  It's a poem I barely remember writing, and at first, I wondered if she was writing to the wrong poet.

Happily, my blog answers many a question for me.  I posted it in this blog post, and I'm guessing that's how the group leader found my poem.  Even though it's not one of the poems I remember, I'm still happy with it.

Let me post it here again, as I also say a prayer for the Artemis Mission which returns home Friday:

The Moon Remembers

                “I sing and the moon shudders"
                            Li Po, “Drinking Alone by Moonlight”



The moon does not approve of elementary choir
masters who stop the rehearsal, make each quivering
child sing a solo to find the one
who is off key. The helpless moon, marooned
so far away, wishes she could offer sanctuary.

The moon knows what the choir master forgets.

The moon doesn’t understand scales or the division
of voices into the caste systems of chorus:
superior sopranos, dowdy altos, basses as the bubble
of depth holding us up, the star tenor.

The moon remembers what the choir master forgets.

The moon sees our best selves as we sing:
the lonely driver late at night, singing to stay awake,
the melancholy mother, humming Christmas carols
to cheer the babies, the desperate lover
serenading the empty window.

The moon remembers what we all forget.

The moon knows that if we believed in our songs,
strengthened our fragile voices, and sang
as if we meant it, then galaxies would blow
to bits as the universe expands.

Running, Running, Running into National Poetry Month and Holy Week: An Unfinished Post

It's the kind of week where I feel like I'm running, running, running.  Even though I have a plan for my classes, there's still prep work to do, and I'm behind in my grading.  It's Holy Week, so I have two sermons, not my usual one.  It's a good kind of tired I'm feeling, since I like everything I'm doing, but tiredness is tiredness.

Let me record a few fragments, so that I don't lose them.

--It is National Poetry Month.  I will probably not do as much as I have in past years.  But I will mention it to my English students.  Maybe I shouldn't--I didn't mention Women's History Month or Black History Month.

--Yesterday I did my communal poetry project with my English 102 class, a project that I first described in this blog post.  I can't always tell what my students are thinking, and yesterday, although I tried to have class conversation after the creating of the poems and my reading of them, they were stonily quiet.  So I decided to have them write about the process.  I was surprised by how many students enjoyed it.  I do realize that some of them might have been telling me what they thought I wanted to hear, but I think that some of them were genuine.  It's good to remember that I might be misinterpreting my students' silence.  Across the classes that I teach, semester after semester, I don't find students wanting to be verbal in class.  It does seem like a generational shift.

--Yesterday I heard about a different kind of writing process, the Frederick Buechner Writing Competition.  I was particularly intrigued by the wide range of types of writing the judges will consider, but this passage made me decide to enter: "The editorial board will give special consideration to pieces that discuss Buechner’s work and themes, to literary and theological essays, and to sermons — the written sermon being an undervalued art form that was particularly close to Frederick Buechner’s heart."  So I decided to enter:  more in this blog post.  

--I've been thinking about the life of a sermon writer.  Some sermons are so much easier than others--and it's often not the ones I would have thought would be easier, back before I was writing sermons every week.  And it's interesting to think about how writing a weekly blog post about the Sunday Gospel text is different from a sermon.  My blog posts are usually half the length of a sermon, and for much of my blogging, I've been able to assume that no one would be reading my blog.  Sermons are so different.

--My congregation in Bristol, TN is the most attentive group of listeners I've ever had, more so than students certainly, but also more so than other congregations.  

Energy of All Sorts

There was a moment earlier today when I got an idea for a poem, and then I thought, wait, it's almost the end of March.  I haven't written any rough drafts, and I haven't polished any rough drafts.  There was a moment during Spring Break when I pulled up three rough drafts intending to work on them, but then I didn't.

I always forget how much energy travel takes:  both the literal kind, like the gas used to make the car move and my own energy, both to get ready to go and the driving and the return and putting it all away.  Travel might give me some inspirations for future poems, but it doesn't do much for poetry writing or revising in the moment.

This March travel time is odder than most because I've gotten back from one trip almost immediately to leave on another.  This week, I've returned just in time for Quilt Camp, a three minute trip up the hill to Lutheridge.

My travel is impacting Quilt Camp too--I don't feel good being away for 2 weeks at a time, so I'm going to teach today and tomorrow.  Thursday morning I need to be here, doing my Lutheran Confessions class.

This morning I go for my yearly mammogram, and I found myself trying to remember if I'm allowed to have breakfast.  I thought about the pre-reqs for bloodwork and for a colonoscopy, both of which might require fasting.  I thought about all the markers that a urine sample can discover.  I wondered if I had the workings of a poem.  

Earlier this morning, I thought I did.  Now I'm not so sure.  But here's the first stanza, as it is right now:

In the hours before my mammogram,
I try to remember the rules
for this particular scan.
Can I eat breakfast?

My Offline Journal and All the Other Types of Writing Taking the Place of Poetry Writing

I'm a bit more tired than is normal for me in the morning.  I do feel like I've been pushing myself harder than is normal:  I wanted to get the pastor work for the coming week-end done by last Sunday, which I did, but that meant I was behind with the short paper that is due tomorrow.  So yesterday, I finished that draft, then went and taught, and then came home, doing some grocery shopping along the way.

So, in the past week, in addition to the blog posts that I've written, I've written 2 sermons, 2 shorter meditations for Wednesday night worship, and a short paper (850 words) for my Lutheran Confessions class.  So, in January when I look back and wonder why my poem writing trailed off in mid-March, that's why.

This morning, before writing in my offline journal, I spent some time reading old entries from the past year.  That can leave me tired, since I usually write in my offline journal about non-bloggable stuff, usually heavy stuff, and reading those types of entries can leave me sad and slightly hollowed out.

So why do I do it?  I'm usually looking for information, of the when did that meeting happen or when did I apply for this job kind of information.  That's what took me to my journal this morning, at least.  Often I'm looking through my offline journal for sadder information, like medical details or when someone died.

Today is a heavier teaching day than I had planned, in part because of Monday's tech glitches.  Happily, it was a fairly easy pivot.  Based on yesterday's Poe/horror discussions, I'm looking forward to seeing how my afternoon classes react.  It should be a good teaching day.

But if my weariness persists, perhaps I'll treat myself to a delicious coffee indulgence mid-morning.

What Time Is It? What Season Is It?

I'm one of those people who wish that we wouldn't turn clocks forward or back, even though I know that if we did that, we'd lose something in terms of darkness and light.  If we had fewer sunsets that came later or fewer sunrises that came earlier, but I don't think I would care.  For me, it doesn't matter if we spring forward or fall back, it takes me weeks to get back to a regular sleep schedule, as regular as my sleep schedule is.

This week, in addition to a time change, we've had a drastic change in the weather--it's been downright hot.  So my sweaty self thinks it's summer, while my light sensitive eyes read spring in the shift in light, while my body is still back in winter in its desire to go to bed early.

I had thought of this time away as having writing residency possibilities, at least in the morning, since I get up hours before my parents.  But instead, I'm tired.  I pulled up some poem rough drafts that I thought I could finish transforming into final drafts, but no, not this morning.  I need to write Sunday's sermon, and if I was really efficient, I'd also write the one for the following Sunday, when we'll be away at a family wedding.

I want to write something more profound as a blog post.  But it won't be this morning.

Happily, Rabbi Rachel Barenblat has written something more profound.  In this blog post, she writes eloquently about why she won't be using AI when she crafts sermons and other religious writing--or any writing:  "My divrei Torah and sermons are love letters, of a kind: they’re love letters to Torah, to God, to my tradition, to the communities I serve. They’re not just communicating information, they’re conveying heart. This may make me old-fashioned. (The fact that I’m still writing longform blog posts on my own blog may also be a sign that I”m old-fashioned!) But it is still my goal to communicate with others without AI mediation. It matters to me that what I share (here and on the bima) are always the words of my own mouth and the meditations of my own heart."

Today my mouth and heart are tired.  Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Spring Weather and Spring Break and Villanelles

I in the Spring Break corridor of my teaching life, so you would think I would feel less harried.  But I also realize that the weeks after Spring Break bring increased activity on the calendar, with retreats and a wedding in Atlanta.  So here I am, feeling more stressed than I want to be, even as I know I will get it all done.

I remind myself that the stresses I have are the good kind--there's not sickness stress or family crisis stress.  And then I feel a bit fretful about other stresses that might be waiting offstage.

So let me chart some positives from the week that might slip away otherwise:

--I've given my English 102 classes time to write their second essay in class.  I've been happy watching them write and consult the textbook and write some more.  I do realize that they may use AI at some point, but they've done a lot of the work of writing without AI.

--Yesterday we went to a neighbor's house.  We are going to help with their garden while they are away, and in return, we get to use 2 of their raised beds.  It was such a beautiful afternoon, and so wonderful to see all that they have managed to cultivate on a very tiny patch of mountain land.

--We are in that part of spring where I can see the trees waiting for their grand debut, with a few making a quicker entrance.  And the daffodils have fully committed to the idea that we can count on spring having arrived.

--Because it's been warmer, I've been walking before I head down the mountain to school.  I don't always get a long walk, the way I did in the summer.  But I get a half hour walk in, and that's better than I've been doing.

--It's also been getting lighter earlier, so this week the sunrise has been an added benefit of an early morning walk.  This week, both sunrises and sunsets have been glorious.  Both of the pictures in this post are of sunrise on Wednesday.

--I got pulled over on Wednesday afternoon.  I have no doubt that I was speeding, but the officer never told me what he clocked me doing.  He gave me a written warning, and I feel lucky.  It's my 3rd written warning.  The first was when I was a student at Newberry College, and the second as I travelled to Mepkin Abbey.  In every case, I was treated kindly, and I do realize how many people are not that lucky.

--I had originally planned to do both sestinas and villanelles in my Advanced Creative Writing class yesterday, but I decided that I was being a bit ambitious.  We did a session on villanelles, which didn't take my students as long as I thought it might.  They probably could have done both sestinas and villanelles.  But I'm not going to worry about it.  It was the Thursday before Spring Break, so only half the class was there.

--I decided to write a villanelle too, and at first, that writing muscle felt so crusty and creaky.  But I quickly got back into the rhyming and repeating groove.

--I want to remember that I'm getting rough drafts written.  I may not always be transforming them into finished drafts, and some of them, like yesterday's villanelle, may not be worth more work.  But I am getting poem composing done more regularly than my finished drafts file will indicate to end of year Kristin.

No AWP For Me

Various social platforms (primarily Facebook for me) have begun to fill with writers posting their AWP schedules.  My grad school friend and I briefly thought about going.  After all, it's in Baltimore, within driving distance, which it rarely is.  We both have family in the area, although we would have stayed in the conference hotel.

I decided early that I couldn't do it this year.  Some years, AWP is the same year as spring break, when I'm working at places that have a spring break, and that confluence makes the whole thing easier.  Some years, AWP is nowhere near spring break, and that, too, makes the whole thing easier.

This year, AWP is right before my spring break in a March that is very busy even before adding a big conference.  So I decided not to go.

Some years I feel like I'm missing out, and now, it's been so many years since I attended that if I could get there, it might not feel like a repeat of past years in terms of what I learn/hear.  And now, I'm teaching a lot of creative writing courses, which has not been the case in the past.

Next year, I might see if I can get some travel money from Spartanburg Methodist College.  But this year, I'm glad not to be travelling this week.  The rest of March will have plenty of travel, lots of family reconnecting, and a quilt retreat near the end.  That's almost more than I can handle, so I'm glad not to be adding AWP on top of it all.

Writing Life, Olympian Life

If you came here hoping for a Valentine's Day post, head over to my theology blog to read this post.  Last night I made a quick grocery store trip and was flabbergasted by how many armloads of flowers were at every end cap.  Valentine's Day has never been my favorite holiday, at least not how it's actually practiced.

If you came here hoping for an Olympics post, I have nothing for you.  I am not watching the Olympics being broadcast now; winter sports have rarely held my attention.  I've been more interested in summer Olympic games in the past, but in 2 years, will I watch?  I have no idea.  I remember being enthralled by the 1980 Winter Olympics, but that was because one of my best friends was breathless about it all.  I remember following the progress of the U.S. hockey team in the 1980's, me and the rest of the world.  In 1980, I was also fascinated by speed skating, but I've never been interested in figure skating--or in gymnastics, which seems an equivalent in the summer Olympics.

Yesterday I was thinking about how being an athlete is unlike being a writer.  I watch the Olympics, and I have no illusions that I will ever be at that level, and worse--the window for that level of skill is tied to youth.  With writing, I can continue to improve.

I thought about this off and on throughout the week, as I have walked from my office to my classrooms and observed clusters of students who are talking about their creative writing.  I don't think these projects are for a class.  I think they're just students who like to write and have found each other.  I love the building where most humanities classes are taught.  It was built 15 years ago, so it's a very different building than any other building where I've taught.  There's more natural light, for one thing, and less decay.  The common area has spaces for informal gathering/studying, spaces that look like a small living room, spaces that look like a kitchen table, and two tables of barstool height, with higher chairs.  There's a charging station beside one of them, and plenty of plugs throughout the common space.  There are some backless couches that look like waves outside of each classroom.

Some of the students hang out as they wait for classes to start, but other students hang out all day.  As I overhear conversations, I feel inordinately happy.  There's the creative writing discussions and the students helping each other in a variety of classes.  There are students scrolling through their phones, and others staring at laptops, but more often than not, they're interacting.

As I walk back and forth, I sometimes feel wistful, sometimes nostalgic, sometimes sad about how long ago my own undergrad days have become.  I can also be prone to the sadness of feeling like I haven't lived up to my potential.    Yesterday I laughed at myself a bit--I can still keep working on writing projects, and I can keep doing it deep into old age, barring some kind of injury.  In terms of athletic prowess, I'm not going to be skiing ever again; fear of breaking a bone is just too much of a deterrent.

Happily, I'm fine with that.  I didn't like skiing when I did it in my younger years, so no great loss.  Aging must be much more difficult if what brings one joy is not something one can do with an aging body.

First In-Person Monday of Spring Term

This morning, instead of my usual morning ritual of frittering away gobs of time by internet wandering, I got right to work on my first paper for my Lutheran Foundations class that's due on Thursday morning before the class meets.  It's not a complex paper, only 750 words, but I need to submit it on Wednesday, since I don't have much time on Thursday mornings.

And now, I have a rough draft--hurrah!

I feel similarly about this paper as I felt about the short Luther paper that I wrote for my Church History class in February of 2023.  I remember feeling pleased with the paper on Luther and sacraments, but I wasn't sure it was what my professor had in mind.  Happily, in 2023, the paper was what my professor wanted.  Hopefully that will be the case here too.

Soon I will head down the mountain to Spartanburg Methodist College.  It's the first Monday that I'll be on campus since November.  For spring term, classes started on Tuesday and then we had the following Monday off for the MLK holiday.  The past two Mondays have been snow days.  And now, here we are. 

Of course, I've been meeting those classes in person on Wednesdays and Fridays, so it hasn't been like I haven't seen those students.  But it still seems worth noting.  A colleague at SMC tells me that in all his years at the school, over 35 years, they've never had as many snow days as they've had this year.  I believe it.

I predict that this kind of weather is going to be the norm as we continue moving through the 21st century--not the snow itself, but the fact that past performance will NOT be a predictor of future performance.

Let me get myself in gear.  This Monday won't teach itself.

Winter Weather and Writing Prompts

I am happy to report that my car now has a new windshield wiper motor.  It cost a pretty penny, almost $1,000 to get the part and have it installed, but it's far cheaper than buying a replacement car.  So far, in the past two months, I've spent a lot on this car, but it's still far less than buying a replacement car.

Yesterday I headed down the mountain in the newer car, the Nissan Rogue, the car we bought when the December flood of 2019 destroyed the other Prius that we once had.  When I got up in the morning, there was a dusting of snow and nothing falling through the air.  By the time I left, the driveway and neighborhood road were covered, and there was a lot of snow blowing through the air.  There were moments when I wondered if I had made a mistake, but the interstate seemed clear of snow and ice, and I decided that I was safer continuing on to school and heading home later in the day.

Much to my surprise, later in the morning it was also snowing in Spartanburg, snow that wasn't in the forecast.  It was the best kind of snow, big flakes, but nothing sticking.

Before yesterday, I had planned a snow/winter weather theme for my Advanced Creative Writing class, and having snow drifting by the window was the perfect touch.  On Tuesday, I read Dave Bonta's Poetry Blog Digest, on his Via Negativa site, as I do most Tuesdays.  He linked to this post by Kristy Bowen, which concluded with ten wonderful poetry prompts for winter.  They're the best kind of prompts, the kind that work not only for poetry but for all kinds of creative thought.

I put each prompt on a slip of paper and had them put the slips of paper face down on their desks.  Every five minutes, they turned over another slip and wrote for five minutes.  At the end of five minutes, they could keep going, or they could turn over a new slip.  

They were all writing on laptops, which was fine with me, although I did realize that I had no way of knowing if they were really working on prompts.  But from observing them, they did seem engaged, and they did turn over slips.  At the end of the process, I had them select one line from their writing and put it on a blank slip--and then I read all the slips as one poem, an interesting experiment.

I did a variation of the writing too, although since I was the timekeeper, I couldn't lose myself in my writing the way I might have.  I did come up with some interesting lines that I hope to continue to work into a unified poem. 

By the time I got on the road to drive home, the sun was shining, and while it wasn't warm, I wasn't afraid that the roads would freeze--it's the best kind of winter weather, the kind that doesn't disrupt but does inspire.

Yearly Intentions Report: The Poem Revision Edition

You would think that with two snow days this week, three actually counting cancelled church on Sunday, I wouldn't feel desperate for some early morning writing time.  And yet, at 1:30 when I couldn't fall back asleep, I decided to get up for a bit.  I've enjoyed this early morning writing time so much that I didn't go back to sleep.

I've done a bit of writing in my offline journal.  I went to my first online class for this semester, the one I'm taking not teaching, the Lutheran Foundations class at United Lutheran Seminary.  I wanted to do some offline journaling about my anxiety around the class, anxieties that have turned out to be mainly scheduling and logistics anxiety.  Those anxieties lifted a bit, at least for this week, as the class progressed yesterday.  It also helped to write about it.

Then I turned my attention to a poem I've been revising.  I first started writing it on January 15.  I was inspired by Jan Richardson's poem about wise women also coming to the baby Jesus.  Here's the first stanza I created, as originally written, complete with automatic capitalization that I go back to correct as I revise:

The women stay behind
While the wise men head west,
Following a star,
Hoping for regime change
Or at the very least, control
Of the narrative. The women melt
The old candles into something new.

On January 24, I did some work on the poem, enough work to justify creating a new document that I labeled as an intermediate draft.  Here's the intermediate revision:

The wise women stay behind.
The wise men head west,
following a star,
hoping for regime change
or at the very least, control
of the narrative.

The women keep
the lamps lit. In the long winter
afternoons, they melt
the old candles into something new.
The children decorate the new creations
while the grandmothers
tell their tales and fill
their hearts with hope.

This morning, I decided that it was time to actually finish the draft.  I was partly inspired by the end of the month approaching and my intention to end the year with 52 finished drafts.  I was successful, and then I thought about revising another poem--that would mean I am on track for the year, not slightly behind.  

I've decided that my intention to finish drafts can extend to rough drafts written before 2026, so I went back to my folder of rough drafts.  I pulled out a rough draft from December, about Noah's wife looking at Realtor.com and seeing her old house.  I should be able to finish that revision by tomorrow.  I'm waiting to see if some final lines come to me today as my brain works on the ending.

Bingo Cards and Whiteboards: A Good First Week

I am always on the lookout for ways to get students up and out of their seats for brief periods of time, especially if it can be for something that's not dividing into small groups and discussing something, just for the sake of having small group work.  I'm not opposed to small group work, even though I hate it for myself.  But I have noticed that small group work involves a lot of prepping on my part and a lot of coaching when they are in small groups (i.e., now talk about this, now switch to talking about this).

Yesterday in my Advanced Creative Writing class, I was leading us through exercises to develop a long-term project.  I created 4 worksheets.  The first one had them list/discuss creative works/artists that had been important to them when they were children and a separate space to list creative works/artists that are important to them now.  As they were writing, I thought, I'm surrounded by whiteboards in this classroom; I could have them write their lists on the board.  And I did it.  There were only 7 students in class, so it wasn't too chaotic.  And it was interesting to see their lists.

On worksheet 2, I had them write about what types of creative works they had created in the past, both in a school setting and on their own.  One wall had two whiteboards beside each other, so I wrote a variety of types (short story, poem, novel, song, animated work, graphic novel/story, hybrid work) on the board as they were filling in the worksheet.  Then I had them put check marks in the columns if they had created that type of work.

On worksheet 3, I had them discuss the conditions that make creative work possible, like space and food.  Then we chatted a bit.  On worksheet 4, I had them list 3 potential long term projects--no commitment implied.  It was a great class, much better than what I had originally planned, which was me verbally giving them prompts.

Then I went to my English 102 class.  I had a bingo/getting to know each other sheet ready to go (see this blog post for details), and I put a blank grid on the back.  I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it, but now, I've come up with a plan for both English 101 and 102.  First, the students will move around the room, trying to fill in the getting to know each other Bingo squares.  Then they'll sit back down and use the grid on the back.  For the English 101 class that meets this morning, I'll have them fill in the grid with some details about themselves that can lead to a standard "who I am" kind of essay.  

In English 102, I used the grid for students to create a fictional character.  Some of the squares were minor, like does the character have a pet.  Some were major:  what does the character yearn for and what is keeping the character from getting that (2 squares).  Then, as we talked about what makes a story, we had character details filled in, conflict details that might lead to an interesting plot, and setting details.  It was an interesting way of talking about these aspects of fiction/story telling.  I look forward to seeing how this afternoon's English 102 classes respond.

It's been a good first week of classes, and I'm grateful.

Crystalline Shards and Fragments

I am feeling fragmented today, so let me capture some fragments:

--Part of why I'm feeling fragmented is the shifting forecast.  Will we be able to go to Bristol on Sunday?  It's very unclear.  There's a system that will likely snow on part of the Carolinas--but will it be closer to the coast?

--So, should I write a sermon?  Yes, I probably should.  And if church is cancelled this Sunday, I can probably tweak it so that it works for next week.  This Sunday is the call story of Peter and Andrew in the Gospel of John, and next week is the same story in Matthew.

--Why do we have these two call stories?  I'm assuming it's because of where the moving holidays fall, specifically Easter and the Baptism of Jesus.  

--If I have to write a sermon about each, what on earth will I say?  The Gospel of John has the words "Come and see."  The Gospel of Matthew has the fishing for humans language.

--My brain zings back to class planning.  It's not unpleasant, but it does remind me of why/how the times when I'm teaching in-person classes is SO different from the times when Spartanburg Methodist College is on a break.

--All of my classes have met for their first day.  They all feel good, with at least a few students who seem bright-eyed and ready to get going.

--So now the easy part is over.  Now I need to focus on what we're going to do each day.  I have broad ideas.  I understand why some people start the semester with day by day course plans, but I never have done that.

--If I did that, would I feel like I have more time to focus on other things?  I would feel that way, but I would probably not do the other things, like poetry writing.  

--I think about sermon writing, which I do every week.  If I had a weekly poetry assignment, like a paid column, would I be more focused week after week?  Yes, if I had a paid gig, I would.

--I think I will walk this morning.  It's going to be cold and windy all day, so I might as well walk early.  And maybe there will be snow flurries!

--I was hoping for a bit of snow yesterday afternoon, but alas.  We prepared as if there might be snow:  charging the phones, bringing the portable heater inside, making a pot of chili, that kind of thing.  Despite the lack of snow, it was cozy and nice.

--We're getting a bit more light outside, a very filtered light just before sunrise.  I think that it might be snowing now.  Or perhaps it snowed more last night than I thought.  But as I look across the trees, it does look snowy.

--When I took the last of the recycling to the curb a half hour ago, the air itself seemed crystalline. There weren't many snow flurries, but I could feel tiny shards of ice on my face--not altogether unpleasant, but not the joy of snow either.   

Report from the First Day of Class

I've been listening to a delightful interview with Virginia Evans, who wrote The Correspondent, which made it to several year-end "Best of" lists.  The New York Times Book Review had a wide ranging conversation with her.  She wrote novel after novel, which never were published, before this one.

I meet with three classes for the first time today; yesterday was a lighter day, with 2 back-to-back classes, from 12:15-1:30 and 1:40-2:55.  I felt good about them both.

The first was the Advanced Creative Writing class, a class which is new to me.  I'm used to schools that have a general Creative Writing class and from there, students can do more advanced writing classes that are genre specific, like Poetry. 

Here's what surprised me--every student in the class has had me in a previous class:  1 in the very first English 101 class that I taught at Spartanburg Methodist College (Fall 2023), 2 in the Non-Fiction Writing class I taught a year ago (Spring 2025), and 6 in the Creative Writing class last semester.  So I didn't go over a lot of basic stuff, like how to pronounce my name or where/how to find/contact me.

I liked the energy in the class, and they all seemed interested in the idea of a long project that stretches across an entire semester.  They're not likely to have this kind of opportunity many more times in their lives.  We'll do some smaller writings too.  Today during my office hours, I'll sketch out a more complete calendar to let us all know what each week will look like.  I want some time to be out of the classroom, meeting with me individually, which will give them time to write/work on the long project.

After that class I had one of the three English 102 classes that I'll be teaching.  Here, too, the energy was good.

I came home, did some grocery shopping along the way to get some more veggies to last the week, and after supper, I went over to the local library to get the books on hold that have come in.  I took my short, after dinner walk around the library grounds, which are beautiful.  The grounds are more beautiful in non-winter times, but it was good to have a change in scenery for my after dinner walk.

And now, it's time to get ready for the second day of class.  Will we meet in person tomorrow?  There's snow that will be swirling around the area, but it's hard to know its impacts yet.

A Few More Snippets from Winter Break

As I head back to a more regular work schedule, let me capture a few last snippets that I haven't so far.

--As we traveled, we saw a lot of wildlife.  Of course, we often see a lot of wildlife, a lot of dead wildlife by the side of the road.  But Christmas Eve, as we drove back across the mountain from Bristol (TN) to Arden (NC), we saw a wolf.  You might ask how we knew it was a wolf and not a dog/coyote/fox.  It was a large animal, with a face that wasn't like a fox or a coyote.  It was far from any house where a dog might have gotten out of a fenced yard.  We also saw an eagle on our trip back from Williamsburg.  At first I thought it was your average vulture, but it had white wings and a white head as it swooped up away from the road kill he had been eating.

--Our neighborhood group put together a dinner for a group of retreat staff who are meeting at Lutheridge this week.  I was pleased with the amount of help I got.  I didn't take a picture of the 3 lasagnas (a Stouffers lasagna with meat, a homemade one with chicken, and a homemade one with roasted veggies), the bags of salad, the loaves of bread, the homemade banana pudding.  But I did get a picture of the Kings Cake that I made (recipe in this blog post) and that my friend decorated:

--When we were in the resort in Williamsburg, we had great fun transforming leftovers from a restaurant meal into more meals for the smaller group of family that vacationed from December 31-Jan. 2.  We went home with risotto and pasta and 14 garlic rolls.  We used garlic rolls so that we didn't have to go out to get bread for lunch; it went well with our hummus and carrots.  The risotto and pasta were the base for our meal on January 1, along with some additional shrimp that we brought to cook.  Delicious!

--When winter break started, I didn't know that I had a melanoma, so I didn't know I would spend part of the holiday having a melanoma removed.  Here's the site just after the biopsy in early December:

And here's how it looked with the steri-strips in place:

I'm glad that the melanoma surgeon warned me that the site would look lumpy because he always stitches underneath.  The stitches will dissolve and the arm will smooth out.  Here's how it looked yesterday, January 6, a day warm enough to walk in a sleeveless shirt:

--We've had whiplash weather all break, from very wintry weather (but no real snow) to very balmy weather, with record breaking warmth on Christmas Day and much of this week.  If I lived here all by myself, it would be just fine with me.  My spouse is much more grumpy when it's cold, so I'd be happy if our current spring weather meant we never went back to wintry weather.  

--Before yesterday, I might have written about how I didn't do much poetry writing, but Tuesday, I came up with a pretty good rough draft.  I saw the foggy weather and thought about the early December forecast for freezing fog, and came up with an interesting Epiphany poem.

--Even if I haven't done a lot of writing, I've done a lot of quilting.  My spouse and I made 4 quilt tops for the local Lutheran group that creates quilts for Lutheran World Relief.  I made a lot of log cabin squares for my cousin's oldest child who graduates next year.  She loves Christmas, so I'm using all Christmas fabrics.  Here's what I will remember when I think about this winter break:

--I have really loved the fiber optic lighted tree in the above picture.  I love it every year, but this year, every morning I turned it on when I first got up in the pre-dawn hours.  I turned off the other lights in the front living room/kitchen, except for the stovetop light.  It has been SO beautiful.

--I have loved having time to see friends and family.  The lack of lots of time to see friends and family is the one drawback to my teaching and preaching schedule.

It's been a great winter break, and while that fact can make it hard to go back, it also makes me grateful.

Intentions for 2026

Here we are, the first morning of 2026.  We did not stay up until midnight, but we did have champagne after watching my dad's alma mater, the University of Michigan, lose to some school in Texas.  We did some coloring on coloring sheets we made ourselves.  We did not talk about resolutions.

This morning is the time for me to set intentions.  I have four.  Careful readers of this blog might say, "Didn't you have three intentions that you couldn't keep for 2025?"  

I appreciate the power of New Year's Day intentions that tug at me all year long, even if I'm not entirely successful.  This year, I'll have 2 writing intentions and 2 health intentions.  

Writing Intentions

--I'm going to keep one of my intentions from 2025.  Here's what I wrote last year:  "I am not feeling OK about how many poems I am not writing. I do a good job of writing down fragments and inspirations, but I'm also aware that I have fewer inspirations and fragments in the past year or two than has been usual. I want to end the year with 52 poems written, finished poems. They may not be worth sending out, but they need to be finished. Fifty-two poems gives me space to catch up, and space to have a white hot streak that sets me ahead."

--Always hopeful about having a book of poems with a spine, I also plan to create a new collection of poems, with the title Higher Ground.

Health Intentions

--I can no longer find the article that recommended taking a walk after dinner, even a short walk.  I wanted to doublecheck the benefits that the article discussed, but no matter.  For four or more days a week, I want to take a walk after dinner, in addition to the other exercise I get through the day.  It can be a very short walk (the article talked about how the benefit was in the going out and doing it, not in the distance covered)--the goal is to get out of the house and get moving before settling into a chair for the evening.

--I thought about having 2026 be the year I gave up alcohol altogether.  But I realize this about myself:  if I tell myself I can never have something ever again, I often end up consuming more of it.  So, in 2026, I want to have 300 days of no alcohol consumption.  That gives me 65 days where I could drink.  And to be sure that those days aren't days of excess consumption to make the most of them, which often happens when I give myself a splurge day of any kind, I'm going to say that if I limit myself to one drink, that day counts as a half day, not a full day.

So, let's see how I do.  I'm excited about these intentions.

A Look Back: 2025

I've been thinking about my approach to the new year; I have been keeping a blog since 2008, so I also have a fairly easy way to see what I do each year.  Some years, I set intentions or adopt resolutions.  Some years I have a word/phrase.  Most years in the waning days of December, I look back.  So, for today's blog post, let's look back.

My Intentions for 2025

On January 1, 2025, I wrote a blog post where I had three specific intentions for 2025.  Up until the moment that I wrote that post, I had no plans to adopt these intentions.  Let's start with these intentions, as I look back on 2025:

--"I want to do strength training 20 days out of every month, 10 minutes over an exercise session."  Most weeks, I did a day or two of strength training, either with weights, or with the weigh of my body.  That means that most months, I did 6 days of strength training, not 20.  

--"I want to end the year with 52 poems written, finished poems. They may not be worth sending out, but they need to be finished."  I did much better with this goal during the first three months of 2025.  I did end up with somewhere between 15 and 25 finished poems, which is more than I would have had without that intention.

For both of the above intentions, the good thing about those intentions is that I remembered that I had the intention, and throughout the year, the intention called me back, tugged me back to the behavior I wanted to cultivate.

--"I want to concentrate on faces (both from the front and profile) and hands, and not in isolation, but as part of the figures that I draw."  Here, too, I did much better with this intention in the first months of the year than in the last 9 months of the year.  I drew much better faces, when I was concentrating.  I still have trouble drawing hands if they're connected to the rest of the body.

Other Aspects of 2025

--I continue to enjoy teaching.  It was great to teach literature survey classes again.  I revisited some classic texts, which is always interesting, especially as I revisit them at very different times of my life.

--I finished my MDiv degree at Wesley Theological Seminary.  I find it interesting that when I thought about the high points of 2025, the teaching was what came to mind before finishing the MDiv degree.  I'm not reading too much into that.  I finished the MDiv in May and my brain tends to work back in chronology--so since I've been teaching more recently than finishing the MDiv, that's what came to mind first.  It's also because I had such a good fall semester teaching such great students and classes.

--When I went back and counted my non-drinking days, I've been very successful.  I still drink, but I did have a long stretch in the summer where I drank no alcohol.  Stay tuned for my 2026 intention in terms of health.

--I haven't read as many books this year (only 50, if my list can be believed), but at the end of the year, I've been on a reading binge, and I'm always happy to find my powers of concentration still allow me to read a book from beginning to end.

--I finished a quilt top, which I used with an old quilt that I created twenty years ago to create something new.  The old quilt had a back that was in good shape, so I quilted the new top to the old quilt and created a binding/border.  I've continued to put fabric together in ways that delight me.

--My job as a Synod Appointed Minister continues at Faith Lutheran in Bristol, Tennessee.  They like me, and I like them, and although they've tried to find a full-time pastor, those attempts haven't led them to a viable candidate.  Periodically, I remind us all that if the congregation finds a great candidate and decides to offer them a job, I'll understand.  Similarly, we don't know what my Candidacy Committee will decide at various stages.

--In terms of candidacy, I have made some progress on the road to ordination.  I finished my MDiv which some people might think would mean I should be ordained by now.  But I went to a Methodist seminary, so that's not the way that ordination works at this point in the ELCA, the more progressive expression of Lutheran churches in the US.  Over the summer, I did the required CPE training at the Asheville VA Hospital, but I have had to wait until Spring 2026 semester to take the Lutheran Foundations course that I need.  Will I need more classes?  Will I also have to do an internship?  Stay tuned.

Reading in the Waning Days of 2025

It's been a great month for reading--less so for writing, but I'll get back to a more regular writing schedule in January.  I've found myself wishing I could go back and repeat some of the reading, most particularly Ian McEwan's What We Can Know.  

Would I wish that I could reread it if I hadn't heard this New York Times Book Club podcast about the book?  Probably.  I knew at the time I was reading it that I would want to reread it.  I zoomed through it the first time just to find out what happened, and I knew I would want an additional read to appreciate some of the other aspects of the novel, outside of the propulsive plot.

My last read of 2025 will be Kristin Hannah's The Women, which I found in the community library where my folks live and where I'm visiting.  I had heard such good things about it, and it, too, is a propulsive novel.  But I can't see myself reading it again, once I'm done.  It made me think about the TV shows M*A*S*H and China Beach.  I've only read 100 pages, so I'm interested if Hannah goes in any unexpected directions or adds some depth to the characters.  So far, there's lots of exploring of the place of Vietnam and the surgical procedures that nurses did under intense pressure during the Vietnam war.

My mom and I spent some time in the community library in the afternoon.  She is always on the hunt for good books, and I had this momentary hope that we might find the McEwan book.  After all, the Hannah book is recent--but it's one of the few in the library published in this century.  We found a John Jakes novel, Charleston, along with another book. 

As I have been doing more intense reading in December, I've remembered my own writing impulses, particularly the novels I thought I would write.  I've been thinking about my writing goals for 2026.  I'm not sure I want to commit to writing a novel in 2026, but I'm not sure I don't.  Let me continue to think:  if I was writing a novel that wasn't going to be intertwined stories, what would the plot be?

Christmas Pageants, Modern and Medieval

Yesterday's sermon about Joseph had a bit of pondering about Christmas pageants.  I began by thinking about the traditional Christmas pageant, where the starring role is Mary, while the rambunctious boys get cast as farm animals.  Yesterday's sermon was about Joseph, the part of the story that we rarely see in Christmas pageants:  Joseph who has one future mapped out, only to find out that his betrothed is pregnant with someone else's baby.

No, not pageant material--as I wrote in the sermon:  "it would make me deeply uncomfortable to see elementary school kids acting out today’s Gospel. But as an adult, I find this part of the Nativity story may have more to say to us in our non-Christmas lives than the rest of the incarnation story."

Here's what I posted on Facebook:  "If you are feeling a bit like Joseph, feeling like you had solid plans that have dissolved into a huge mess, perhaps my sermon that I preached this morning at Faith Lutheran Church (in Bristol, TN) would have meaning for you."

You can find the recording of my sermon here on my YouTube channel.  You can read along here and count the times I go off-script.

As I was preaching, I was thinking of a poem that I wrote, about being part of the angel choir and not realizing how much more powerful an angel would be than Mary.  I wrote it a long time ago, and my theology around Mary has changed.  I now see her as much more powerful.  But still, I wanted to revisit the poem, and I'm happy that my blog makes it much easier than digging through computer files, trying to remember the name of the poem.

It was first published in The South Carolina Review, and then I included it in my first chapbook, Whistling Past the Graveyard.  It does make me wonder if people even have Christmas pageants anymore.  My church has not in the time that I've been there, although they once did.  We just don't have enough children to do a pageant.

If we had a pageant, I'd try to make it different than the ones I was part of as a child.  I'm not sure how I would do that, so I'm glad I haven't been forced to come up with a plan.  But I wouldn't want today's children to have the experience I had and try to capture in this poem:

Medieval Christmas Pageants


The Sunday School pageant director embraced
the medieval ideals. Mary would have dark
hair and a pure soul. Joseph, a mousy
man who knew how to fade into the background.
Every angel must be haloed with golden
hair, and I, the greatest girl, the head
angel, standing shoulders above the others.

It could have been worse. Ugly and unruly
children had to slide into the heads and tails
of other creatures, subdued by the weight
of their costumes, while I got to lead
the processional. But I, unworldly foolish,
longed to be Mary. I cursed
my blond hair, my Slavic looks which damned
me to the realm of the angels.

I didn’t see Mary’s role for what it was: bit
player, vessel for the holy, keeper of the cosmic.
I didn’t understand the power of my position.
I could have led an angel uprising, although the history
of angel uprisings suggests that though whole new
worlds emerge, so do new tortures with the triumph.
I could have imparted messages of God’s plan,
spoiled all the surprises. I could just appear,
scaring mere mortals into submission.

Instead, I smoldered, smarting
at the indignities of mother-made wings
and long robes to ruin my long legged run.
I internalized the message of the culture
which didn’t offer starring roles for girls,
no head angel power for us.
Instead, the slender, the meek, the submissive
girl got the prize, the spotlight focused
on her kneeling knees, her bowed head.
I tried not to sing too loudly, to shrink
my Teutonic bones into the Mary model.

Publication Ponderings in Mid-December

I woke up this morning thinking about publication opportunities as the year draws to a close.  There are book contests that seem interesting still, like the Wilder Prize at Two Sylvias Press.  At one point in the last few months (see this blog post), I thought about revising the last manuscript of poems that I created in 2019.  I even printed the table of contents to see which poems have been published since I last sent out the manuscript, and I made a list of new poems to include.  I put question marks by the poems I might take out to make room for the new.  I thought I would change the title and have the manuscript ready by mid-December, so I could send it to a few contests.

But this morning, I have a different vision.  I'm going to wait until summer to do a deeper dive into manuscript assembly.  I'm going to create a new manuscript called Higher Ground.  The title works on several levels with the climate change poems along with spirituality poems.  I'm going to let the idea percolate as I send out poems for publication and think about the larger themes of my body of poems.  I think it will be a much stronger manuscript if I take this different approach of creating something new, not grafting onto the old.

I am aware that I may only have a chance to publish one book with a spine when it comes to poetry, given my age and how long it takes to move a poetry book manuscript from submission to publication.  So I want it to be good work on several levels:  the best poetry that I have written, the poems that work as a cohesive whole in the best way.

This morning I decided to submit some individual poems to journals whose submission windows close soon.  As I do this, I update my submission log, which I don't always do when the rejections come in, which means I miss a few.  Today, along with a rejection, a request to submit during the narrow window in December when the journal is open for submissions.

Happily, I hadn't missed the opportunity, so I submitted right away, before I lost momentum.

And now it's off for a very full day of volunteer work.  I'm going to help the group that builds the set for "Return to Bethlehem," zip over for quilt group from 1:30 -3:30 or so, and then back to the Bethlehem set.