Yesterday, as I was counting up poems written for my writer's report, I came across some poems that I had forgotten writing, in a notebook that had been put in the wrong pile. I came across four poems that will fit perfectly in my new book-length manuscript. Hurrah! I had a few poems that didn't seem to fit, and I suspect I put them in the book-length manuscript because I was trying to hit a page number. But now I'll have a stronger book.
I had that experience of finding missing poems in the morning. And in the afternoon, I got a water bill that reminded me I hadn't paid the last bill and that my water would be cut off if I didn't pay. I always think that I'm a very organized person, that if you needed a piece of paper, I'd know exactly where to find it. I probably would, but some things do seem to fall through the cracks. And I don't always sort through my piles as often as I should.
That point has been driven home in several ways this week. I've moved offices at work and tried to sort through paper piles--amazing how old some of the information is. I got that bill that threatened to cut off my water--a panic inducing moment, since my parents will arrive later today, and I don't want them to arrive to a house with the water cut off; I paid the bill, so hopefully that won't happen.
I feel like I'm on top of everything, even though I sometimes feel harried and crabby. Should I see these incidents as early warning indicators, or should I just realize that these kind of moments happen to most adults? Am I trying to do too much? Should I scale back? Or do my jam-packed days account for my productivity?
I suspect that I'll wrestle with these questions for most of my life. Work-life-creative balance--it's the classic conundrum for our time (and I suspect most times).
Happy New Year! May we make reasonable goals and may the world respond. May we remember the less fortunate, who don't have the time, money, and other resources to make goals above simple survival. May we remember to be grateful, especially for all the small things we overlook: the bottle of wine that's delicious and affordable, the smile of someone we love, warm bread, the sun and the rain and the beautiful moon in all its phases, and the million small happinesses we get every day.
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