Every so often I send a batch of e-mails, and occasionally someone writes back to say, "Were you really awake at 4 in the morning?"
So, yes, to those of you who see 4 a.m. as the middle of the night, I was awake and writing this early. Actually, I've been awake even longer, although thankfully, it's unusual that I wake up at 1 a.m. and can't fall back asleep.
A few hours ago, I had been dreaming that I was working on the assessment spreadsheet. I woke up and started thinking about all that must be done by Tuesday morning when the mock accrediting team shows up for the mock visit: assessment spreadsheet finished, faculty files updated, syllabi put in the binder, departmental meeting minutes for the past 2 years sent to the dean . . . on and on the list goes. It's all very doable, but it will take some time. I should be able to get it all done in the amount of time left, but it's the kind of task list that wakes me up at night.
Yes, I woke up, even though I can't really do the work remotely. So I got up and tried to get some of my own work, the creative work, done before I turn my attention to the work that I do for pay.
Will I be tired today? Perhaps, but likely not more so than any other day. With luck, I will hum through and get the work done: the endless copying, the proofreading, the shredding, the additional copying, the occasional break to help a student or to evaluate a transcript--those breaks that remind me of why the endless copying and creating of files and spreadsheets is important.
These days at work remind me of earlier times, when I first wrote the first poems that would become part of my second chapbook. I've written about "I Stand Here Shredding Documents," that poem with its variations, in this post.
And this morning, I've thought of the pictures that I took/staged back in 2010 as I searched for cover art. I've spent time looking through that file and feeling happy about taking those pictures.
This week, so far, I've felt like this:
I worry that by the end of the accreditation visit, I'll feel like this:
I like the mix of work chores and home chores that the above photo references. Happily, so far, I have a real office at work; I am not reduced to doing my work-for-pay on an ironing board.
And those who know me know that I also don't do any of my home chores on an ironing board!
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