--Just before I woke up, I was dreaming of going to the grocery store to get autumnal treats: apple cider and pumpkin pie. I thought about a sweet potato pie, but they've always disappointed me.
--I woke up thinking of my grandmother. Once she made a sweet potato pie, and I was expecting pumpkin. It was a much different pie, and I couldn't hide my disappointment quickly enough. She was the type of person who remembered every slight, and she never made another sweet potato pie again, even though I think I would have liked it. It's earthiness might be a welcome change from the cheerful sweetness of pumpkin.
--Yesterday, I was in charge at church. I had my grandmother on my brain. She likely wouldn't have approved of lay leadership being in charge, and I'm fairly sure she wouldn't have approved of a female in charge, even if that female was her loved one.
--Yesterday I knew that I would be the only one there opening up the church, unlike usual, when there's at least 2 of us. I decided to wear pants and running shoes. I would be keeping the church locked until parishioners showed up, but I still wanted an extra layer of safety.
--I thought of my grandmother, who would have disapproved of my gender as the one in charge, and she'd have disapproved of my clothes. Once when I visited her, at some point during the early 1990's, she was very upset over a woman who wore blue jeans up to the altar rail to take communion. Until I heard her, it never would have occurred to me that anyone would take offense with blue jeans, unless they were dirty from gardening.
--Happily, if anyone else was offended by my casual clothes, I didn't hear about it. Church went well--that usually happens, but it's never a given, so I'm always happy when it does. It's so easy for worship to go in unintended directions, to cause pain or offense.
--Over the week-end, I also dreamed I was pregnant--I was my current age, 52, so it was unexpected, but in the dream, we were happy. Perhaps I've been looking ahead to Advent? I'm more likely wanting to feel like I'm in a holding process for something wonderful that is coming.
--It has been a good week-end: full of good food, little trips out to restock, some grading that needed to be done, and some writing. My friend has still not gotten her pool back from its glowing green state, so I wrote a poem in which I imagined changing the pool into a grotto. It was a surprise poem, and it went well. I also finished revising my short story that has its inspirations in Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried.
--Here's hoping for a good week, full of similar elements: food with friends, writing, good work on campus.
Best Essay Collections of 2017 by Women Authors
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