AWP2019: Fretful about Footwear

A week ago, I put some books on hold at the public library--a process which means that available books would be delivered to a branch close to me.

Yesterday morning, they still weren't here.  I began to feel a bit fretful--what would I read on the long plane journey to Portland, Oregon?

Of course, I have plenty of books.  But I always want to be reading the books that aren't on my shelves.

Happily, by yesterday afternoon, they had arrived, and I picked them up on my way home.  I may not have all the self-promotional materials I might need for the AWP convention, but I have some books.

I know that the common wisdom is to buy books during the last day of the book fair, and I have gotten some bargains that way.  Of course, most of those bargains sit on my book shelf unread.

I know that I should have business cards to pass out, and I do.  Although I rarely find myself needing to exchange cards, I'll bring them anyway.  I won't bring any manuscripts with me.  I'll have my computer, and if I should need to print something, I'm sure I'll find a way to get that done.

I have found myself feeling fretful about footwear.  I am also fretful about the hotel.  I decided to stay at the Embassy Suites.  When I was making these decisions, I wasn't very sure about the hotels closer to the convention center.  I read someone's Facebook post that suggested that all of the hotels were further away than might be common for a convention center.  So I chose the Embassy Suites because I had a good experience at one for last year's AWP, and I really like having breakfast included.  At the time, I thought it was about a half mile away and that most of the hotels were a half mile away or further.

On Sunday, I went back to that map.  I may be more like a mile away.  I am trusting that I can walk to the convention center from the hotel.  I say I'm trusting, but I'm actually fretful that it may be one of those urban areas where there is no way to get across the river on foot.

If that's the case, I'll figure it out.  That's one of the things that travel teaches me, that I am a resourceful person who can keep calm and figure things out.

Back to my footwear question.  I have a pair of boots, which I thought I would bring with me.  But my sneakers are so much more comfortable for long walks, and I think I'll be walking a lot.  And the weather forecast doesn't call for as much rain as I was expecting.  So I think I'll bring 2 pairs of sneakers.  I can switch them out so I always have a dry pair.

Of course, I'll look a bit frumpy with sneakers on my feet.  I don't care.  I am older and married--and truth be told, I've never sacrificed safety and comfort for cute shoes.  I have always looked frumpy, but there have been decades when my frumpy look was in (I'm thinking of my cool boots in the 90's)--or at least, not as out as it usually is.

Let me remember why I am going:  I am always inspired in interesting ways by this conference.  I have gone to many academic/academic-ish conferences, and this is the only one where I am often torn by choosing between so many wonderful sounding panels.  Colson Whitehead will be the keynote speaker.  Once upon a time, getting to the Pacific Northwest was on my must-do-before-I-die list.  One of my grad school friends is meeting me there--we're helping each other be brave.

Can you tell that I am feeling a bit of my normal, pre-travel, why did I think this would be a good idea jitters?  Yes, I am.  It's feeling like a lot of effort for a lot of yet-to-be-determined reward.  I've had several grueling weeks at work to get ready to leave.  I worry a bit about who and what I'm leaving here.  I am weary.

But it is good to travel.  I know that as we age, many of us reach a point where we can no longer make these kinds of big trips.  Let me go while I can.  Let me make the memories that will sustain me through the times of drudgery.