Yesterday, because of a strange confluence of busyness, I consumed about 1000 calories. I am adopting the Weight Watchers approach of not counting vegetable and fruit calories, so if I included the calories in the carrots and the cantaloupe chunks, I consumed slightly more.
There was a brief moment this morning where I started to calculate how much weight I might lose if I could stick to 1000 calories a day--and maybe even lower! For a brief moment, I felt like my high school self, who could stick to diets of 600 to 1000 calories a day for about 2 weeks. I recognized the adrenaline rush of thinking I could exert control over at least that small part of my life, the calories consumed, even if I had no control over other parts, like having to go to high school.
And now I am older, and I know that the body has the last word when one tries to restrict calories drastically.
As I look back on my years of gaining and losing weight, I have been most successful during the times when I was conscious of what I was eating. I've done well tracking calories. I've done well when I cut things out of my diet: becoming/going back to vegetarian eating, getting rid of high-fat foods, cutting out most white flour products, saying no to alcohol.
I have lost a bit of weight this summer. I've been tracking calories, trying to stay between 1200 and 1500 calories a day, while knowing that one or two days a week, I'm likely to be closer to 2000 calories. I'm doing a walk in the morning before work and lots of walking during the day. I feel like I should have lost more than the 6 pounds I've lost since May.
I am feeling healthier, which is another reason why I'm surprised that my weight loss is small. I'm eating more veggies, fruits, legumes, and whole grains than I usually do in the summer. Most summers I do a good enough job of eating enough veggies and fruits if I've been to the farmers market, but I also consume much less in the way of legumes and whole grains if I'm not going to an office.
I'm also drinking less, which makes me surprised at the slower weight loss. But the health benefits of drinking less go way beyond weight loss, so I'm happy for my success in this area. I started my alcohol abstinence on June 16. This time next week, I'll hit the mark where I've been alcohol free for the longest consistent time since 2008 or so.
When I was at my annual physical in February, my doctor was direct: "Someone with as much cancer in the family as you have should not be drinking alcohol at all." It sounds blunt on the page, and it was, but she didn't say it in the negative way a doctor might, a shaming, blaming, you will die if you don't do this kind of way. It was straightforward and informative.
My family also has a history of dementia, some severe, some mild, and I think we are only just beginning to understand how alcohol interferes with cognition beyond the immediate drunken state that comes from heavy drinking in one sitting.
In a family where alcoholism also lurks in the family tree, I know how lucky I am that I can give up drinking as easily as I have.
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