Favorite Father Memories

Today I have fathers on the brain, as it is Father's Day.  I realize that I am fortunate.  My dad is still alive and healthy.  My dad didn't desert the family along the way.  My dad did the best job of fathering that he could do, and he was pretty good at it. 

Today I mourn with those who are not as lucky as I am.  I know far too many people who lost their fathers much too young.

But today I also celebrate all the ways that so many of us have experienced positive fatherhood.

I wrote my dad an e-mail this morning, with some of my favorite memories of our lives together.  Here's what I wrote:

--We went to Pigeon Forge to run a midnight race.  We returned and tried to keep ourselves awake until it as time to go to church--we listened to Chicago's 16 through headphones and played chess.

 

--I was being honored at a college convocation.  Mom was coming down.  You came too, as a surprise.  I remember pulling into the parking lot in Columbia to pick you up.  What a neat surprise.

 

--You and I went backpacking together near Charlottesville--probably during my 9th grade year of high school.

 

--When I was a vegetarian cooking dinners, I made some real clunkers--you never complained.

 

--You taught me to drive and you were always very calm.  I made a turn once without slowing down, and you said, "Next time you should use your brakes."

 

--You procured a microchip for a science fair project--I won honorable mention!  In 1979, that chip must have been very expensive, and you let me take it to school.

 

--When I was in 3rd grade, I really wanted a notebook at the Auburn U. at Montgomery bookstore, and you bought it for me.  I wrote my first stories in that notebook.

 

--You asked me to help you move furniture--thus, I never had the idea that I couldn't do something just because I was a girl.

 

--You taught me a lot about music, particularly classical and jazz.  But you weren't snooty.  I remember once at the beach, you whistled "Last Train to Clarksville" as you unloaded the groceries from the car.  When I asked you about it, you said, "It's my favorite Monkees song."  And you weren't being sarcastic.  It taught me that it's O.K. to have a wide variety of musical tastes.

 

--I remember many family camping trips--another great way to learn self-sufficiency.  And I learned a lot about the natural world and history because of our trips.

 

--I treasure the weeks at the beach as an extended family.  You always made family a priority, and it wasn't until I was a grown up that I realized how many dads didn't do that.

 

--You taught me about money, and not just about having a savings and checking account--although those are very important things that you taught me.  You also taught me about investing.

 

--You also taught me a lot about how to live a life that's in alignment with one's values.  We discussed things like giving money to the church, and about why we go to church.