--I am surrounded both physically and virtually by people who are having more successful artistic times than I'm having. They're publishing books. I'm not.
--I'm not jealous, but I am wishing it was my turn. So, it's time to get back to my creative work. It's time to send the larger projects out into the world. I have decided that for the rest of the year, on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays, I'll work on my memoir project first thing, before I blog, before I wander through the temptations of the Internet, before I respond to e-mails. This morning was my start date.
--Success! Today I returned to my memoir. I took the advice of Julia Cameron (of The Artist's Way fame) and set my jumps low--meaning I took on an easy task. I needed an early success, something I knew I could do. And thus, I transformed one blog post into an essay--much easier than the blog posts which need to be combined into one essay without being repetitive.
--My future feels uncertain, so I need to return to fierce visioning of what I want.
--I ordered the Poet Tarot deck from Two Sylvias Press (purchase here; go here for a great interview about the creation of this amazing deck of cards). It arrived months ago, but I've only recently had the chance to look at it. The other night, working only with the major arcana, I pulled the E. E. Cummings card, which encourages letting go of anxiety and taking more risk.
--This question from the Poetry Tarot Guidebook for the Cummings card spoke to me: "Is there a project I've been afraid to undertake--why? Who or what inspires me to put aside my fear and set goals for myself toward the realization of this project?"
--I think I might be more afraid of finishing this memoir and not being able to find a publisher than I am afraid of not finishing it. Time to push through that fear.
--Still looking for fun ways to foretell the future, this morning I turned to the Bibliomancy Oracle. I asked for insight about the future. Here's what the site returned:
"You can forgive the one
who makes your life amazing."
from “Amazing” by James Gendron
That insight seems oddly piercing too, in all sorts of contexts.
--Let me stress that I don't really believe in these kinds of oracles. But I do believe in their value in provoking thought that can lead to insights I might not otherwise have had. I also like the potential of the visual arts to do this--a reason why I love collaging, but my collages tend towards the vision board type of collection, rather than true works of art.
--Here's an altered playing card I made recently:
Do they speak to you?
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