Death of a Former Colleague

Yesterday I had just settled into my office work at the computer (as opposed to the office work of the hospitality of putting out the morning treats for students and getting the coffee components ready for students).  On Facebook, I saw a former Art Institute colleague talking about another colleague who had died on Monday.  It was a strange feeling, even though it wasn't completely unexpected.

In 2014, that colleague was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer at the same time my high school best friend was diagnosed with Stage IV esophageal cancer.  I remember looking up the survival statistics of both diseases and resolving not to do that again--it was pretty grim.  My friend was dead a year later.  My colleague managed to live long enough that I thought he might beat the odds.

But along the way, there were glimmers that he might not.  He kept a blog where he talked fairly openly about setbacks.  I knew that the numbers that he didn't want to rise were rising.  But he had been lucky.  I wanted that luck to continue.

After I found out about his death, I stared numbly at the computer.  I toggled to his blog and stared numbly at it.  I decided that I needed to do something active.

I decided that it was time to create what is now our annual Veterans Day interactive board.  A few years ago, I created a bulletin board type space and invited people to put up a picture of their favorite veteran or a note of appreciation.  We got a lot of participation, and now I put it together every year.  I use some elements from past years and leave space for new additions.

It was an oddly satisfying way of grieving.  As I constructed the board, the words from "For All the Saints" went through my head--another satisfying response.  I also swapped out the Halloween book display in the library for our new Disconnect and Reconnect display.

My former colleague was a visual artist, so during a break from work, I sent some poems out into the world.  Maybe they will be published, maybe not.  But doing activities to support art also seemed like a good way to pay tribute.

I finished my day at work by meeting some friends for dinner.  We wouldn't have met each other if we hadn't worked at the Art Institute of Ft. Lauderdale together.  They also knew my former colleague, so we spent some time talking about him.  My friend has just published a book--more on that in later posts.

Along the way, I was grateful for Facebook.  It was good to see the tributes there.  I felt less alone in feeling so strange at the news of the death of my former colleague.  It was good to be reminded of all the ways he was so important to his students and to those of us who worked with him.

There are many worries I have about Facebook and other aspects of our online lives.  But yesterday, I was grateful for the connection, especially since the school that brought us together has closed.