Saturday Buoyancy

Once again, a Saturday when I'm writing slightly later than my usual morning writing time.  Once again, a Saturday when I feel like I don't have an extended essay's worth of material.  Once again, let me record some observations and see if I see any threads that weave together.

--It is hard for me to believe that we are 6 days away from Christmas.  This season always goes by much too quickly.  I've been walking early in the morning, enjoying the lights that are left on overnight.  I do wish we could all agree to keep those lights up much longer than most people usually do. 

--I find myself thinking of our time at Hilton Head back in September.  That vacation was so amazing, with the hints of autumn emerging, with the most delicious chicken stock we've ever made (which led to the best chicken and dumplings we've ever made), the wonderful conversations, the small pumpkins that I bought to go with the autumn lights that I brought with us, the beautiful views of the sea, the wide beaches, the relief of seeing my parents.  At the time, I thought we'd have Thanksgiving and Christmas; I thought we could pull it off.  I thought we had come through the worst.  

--I have been struck with how many literary losses have come this week.  There's John le Carre, although I confess that I have never read his work.  I was also saddened to hear of the loss of poet Marvin Bell; this interview made me realize again what has been lost when any individual life snuffs out.

--But in a happier vein, I have been watching the Joe Biden transition with some interest.  I have been watching Joe Biden for decades, but frankly, until now, I have never been a fan.  He seemed like a typical white male senator, looking out for the patriarchy and occasionally throwing the rest of us a stripped down bone.

But his cabinet appointments have been enough to make me weep with joy.  At this point, I'd be happy to welcome anyone with any level of competence, but what a bonus to see a cabinet that's going to look more like the U.S. that I know.  I am most thrilled about a Native American female being Secretary of the Interior.  I want those lands protected in the way that someone with a traditional Native American outlook would be likely to do.

--These lines came to me on Friday's morning walk as 3 geese flew overhead:

My morning walk sews
the holes in my fraying heart
with threads of birdsong
and the lake, silver
with sunrise.

--Let me finish with really good news. Back in the early days of the pandemic, my church applied for a Paycheck Protection Loan with the hope that it would be turned into a grant, into money that we wouldn't have to pay back. This week, we got the news that our loan has been forgiven. Hurrah!

My younger self would have grumbled about churches and how they should pay taxes, not get handouts from the government. Indeed, I hear some of that grumbling by way of social media.

But my church is not a megachurch. We haven't used that money to buy a plane or some other kind of extravagance. No, we paid the salaries of staff, which are not extravagant salaries. That money meant that we could keep doing our important community work, most notably the food pantry, which has seen more use than at any time in the past 2 decades.

In the months since the federal government launched the CARES Act, which contained the Payment Protection Plan, we've heard about a lot of places that got some of that money, but might not have needed it. I am here to attest that my church needed it. We operate on the slenderest of margins in the best of times, and this year has not been the best of times.

In some ways it reminds me of my household budget. I pay the bills and wonder how long I can keep going this way. But each month, I keep finding a way.

As a taxpayer, I'm happy to help organizations like my church. As a taxpayer, I wish we were doing more as a government to keep the economy a bit more buoyant.