Funeral Arrangements in a Time of Pandemic

Today is my aunt's funeral.  She had been gravely ill for months, and in hospice for weeks, so her death was not a surprise.  But in a time of rising pandemic rates, amongst my family members, we've had a different set of conversations than we might have had before.

I found out about her death on Tuesday, and her funeral in North Carolina on Friday (today) at 11:00 a.m., a drive of at least 12 hours, so I'd have to drive on Thursday (yesterday).  I briefly considered flying--I could fly to Charlotte, rent a car, and drive for an hour or two.  That would still need to happen on Thursday.

But there's a pandemic.  Do I really want to fly?  Even when there's no pandemic, I rarely want to fly.  But these days, the thought of being in airport terminals and planes with throngs of people adds a level of anxiety to travel that rarely seems worth it.

There's also the issue of exposing others to disease.  I live in a disease hot spot, and I have not been quarantining.  I spent two days this week in a room with 60 other people, some masked, some not, for over 8 hours each day.  Should I go to North Carolina without knowing my disease status?

I have had one shot of the Moderna vaccine, so I am partially protected, and thus, others would be partially protected, but I'm still not sure how much others would be protected if I was asymptomatic and traveling.  Even with a mask, there would be risk to others, since there's a lunch after the funeral.

Some other part of my brain wondered if I was considering all of these factors because I wanted to rationalize my not wanting to travel.  And then the other part of my brain reminded that part of my brain that the CDC still advises against non-essential travel.  And traveling to this funeral would be non-essential.

My uncle does not need me to be there.  He's lived in his community for over 50 years, so he's got deep roots.  His 2 sons, my cousins, will be there, as will my mom (his sister) and dad.  While I would like to see everyone, I can wait until Thanksgiving, when more of us will be vaccinated, and we will be able to catch up with each other at a slower pace.

So, I have decided not to go.  If technology is working in our favor, I can tune in on a YouTube channel.  If not, I'll sip my tea in my office and say some silent prayers.