I am supposed to go to the dermatologist every 3 months because of my melanoma diagnosis in December. Because of that diagnosis, because we missed the significance of that spot for 18 months when we thought it was a weird bug bite, my dermatologist PA now biopsies more than she might otherwise, a mindset that I encourage.
She's a very kind PA. I apologized for being sweaty. She told me about the people who ride their bikes to the dermatologist and thus, are more sweaty than I will ever be. I apologized for being fat, and she said, "You're in great shape," while the MA nodded enthusiastically. I do realize that plenty of people are fatter than I am, but it still feels strange to have enough flesh in places that the very professional PA needs to move aside to inspect.
Well, that's likely too much information for the multitudes one or two people still reading this blog.
But I also want to add that she also said I have great skin. In some ways, she's correct--for a woman who is about to be 61, I do have great skin. For a woman who has spent a lot of time in the sun with no protection of any kind, I do have great skin.
I am working on feeling the same thing about my extra weight--some days are easier than others. When I'm out every day, walking and eating berries and appreciating the world in other ways, I feel fine about my body. When I don't compare my current body to past years, I'm better than when I think about how many miles I could once run/jog.
As a wise yoga teacher once said to me: "Quit comparing yourself to everyone else. It won't help." It's not solely yoga teachers who know this, of course. Most world religions contain this wisdom somewhere.
It's a life lesson I'll continue to say to myself, probably on a daily basis.
No comments:
Post a Comment