Patti Smith Tonight!

Back in September, in The Washington Post, I read an article about Patti Smith, and at the end, it mentioned that she would appear at the Lisner Auditorium.  I felt a stab of jealousy, a yearning to live in a place like D.C., where more of the culture that means something to me comes through those crossroads.

And then, days later, I got the email from the Arscht Center in Miami that announced that she would be here December 17.  And the ticket included a copy of her latest book!  And I could get a ticket for a friend for just $10 more.

Back then, Dec. 17 seemed so far away.  I knew that my online classes would be over--how fortunate!  I knew that we wouldn't be traveling.  I knew that I could get away from the office. 

I felt almost obligated to go.  I thought about my past self, that woman in 1996 who wanted to live in a different place, a place where high culture didn't mean another NASCAR race, as I so snootily articulated my yearning back then.

So I bought the tickets, watched anxiously for them to arrive by mail, and then stashed them in a safe place.  I looked forward to this evening--until last week, when I started to feel exhausted by the thought of it.

I will still go of course.  Almost every type of evening commitment, particularly those on a school night, makes me feel exhausted in advance.  I can't just stay at home, going to bed at 7 p.m., the way my inner toddler wants me to do.

Whenever I feel the strong desire to move far, far away, to a place that has more ______ or less ______, I remind myself that as long as I still need to work to provide for myself, the rest of my life isn't likely to change substantially.  There will still be only so many hours in a day.  I will still need to work hard/consciously to achieve that work/life/play/nourishment balance that seems so elusive on so many days.

And so later today, I will brave the Miami traffic and the high cost of parking.  I will go to the beautiful performing arts center to the south.  I will hear the words of Patti Smith and hang tight to her latest book and be reminded of what I want my life to contain more of.