Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Anxiety Lifting

Yesterday, several of my anxieties lifted.  I had been aware that they were there, so I didn't have that feeling of anxiety lifting and saying, "Oh, that's what I've been feeling," as my shoulders sunk away from my ears.

As I drove away from the dentist, I felt a thousand pounds lighter.  I had postponed this appointment twice already, in part out of dread.  But I don't want to be an old woman without any teeth, so I got myself to the appointment yesterday.

My dental hygienist tried a new technique yesterday; she swabbed some deadener on my gums, and it made a huge difference.  I have sensitive teeth and gums:  hard teeth with gums that are prone to bleeding.  It makes dental visits agony.  But yesterday was OK.

By now, I'm used to surprises at work, and they're not often happy surprises.  But yesterday, one of our old EMS instructors stopped by to take pictures of some of our equipment.  It was great to see him again.  I'm always happy to learn that people who have left us (students who graduated, faculty who find other jobs) have found success or happiness or whatever it is that makes them OK.

It's what I want, to be sure that everyone is OK.  And I am aware that it is not up to me.  But that's what I want.

Mid-afternoon, I got the best news of the day:  our house buyer remains enthusiastic about our house.  She made an offer and signed a contract without seeing the house, and we are in the 15 day period where she could still change her mind without facing the loss of her earnest money.  My anxieties have centered around yesterday when she would arrive in town to see the property for the first time.  I have taken comfort in the knowledge that our realtor's photos give a realistic picture of the property.  But my fears have been flaring.

Yesterday she did not change her mind.  She saw the property and remains enthusiastic--hurrah!  She did not care that my spouse broke the gate when he backed the moving van into it.  I'm glad because in my quest to fix the gate, I've discovered that many fencing companies have gone out of business.  She plans to rip that gate out to expand the parking, so it's great news that I was never able to solve the problem of the broken, custom-made gate.  

I do see the life lesson that presents itself over and over again.  The stuff I worry about often ends up not mattering.  I do realize that very little stuff that I or anyone else worries about ends up mattering.

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