Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Scraps of Moon and Crankiness

--I have written a few early morning posts on Facebook that could have the seeds of a poem in them.  Let me record them here so I can find them more easily when I'm wishing I had a seed of a poem:

Through my window that faces the east, I just caught sight of the fingernail scrap of a moon rising, and I wanted both to cheer or sob at its beauty and distance.

Ah, the early morning hum of the truck going by spraying mosquito killing chemicals. The start of a modern psalm to greet the morning?

--It has been the kind of week/month/year when getting the front porch light bulbs changed feels like we've really accomplished something.  We bought light bulbs for the car headlight and taillight, but the old ones are resistant to leaving.  When we tried to change the front porch bulb, the light broke off, but happily, with careful attention, my spouse removed it.

--I am aware that I am feeling crankier and crankier at work.  Students arrive late to campus and  neglect to check in, and I feel like I'm always calling to people down the hall.  I am so tired of reminding people how to wear their masks properly.  I am so weary thinking that this is my life for the foreseeable future.

--Most days, I feel like I see the cleaning crew more than I see my spouse.  The cleaning crew comes to campus multiple times to sanitize.

--I had been worrying about needing to self-quarantine for 2 weeks if I'm exposed to COVID-19--but then I realized the country still has no system of contact tracing, so I won't know that I've been exposed.

--I am also worrying about what the months headed to Christmas will bring for our campus and students who are exposed.  As we move closer to Christmas, I envision more and more students who become sick or exposed, and our careful approach to classes and labs falls apart. The vision of needing to be running labs and then all the make-up labs for students who are out sick or can't come to campus because they've been exposed.

Of course, it might be just a student here or there, which might make it easier or harder. It’s just so hard to plan in this new reality.

--Yesterday I saw some of the school board's planning session for K-12 in my county.  They are thinking of having students come to school in split shifts.  So they'd be on campus only 2 days a week, unless they have special needs.  The other days will be virtual.  Part of me understands the need to do this.  Part of me thinks we should just keep doing remote learning until there's a vaccine or a cure.  

Part of me wonders what parents will do.  Not everyone can work remotely.  I see decades of improvement in women's work situations just vanishing away.

--Now it's off to school--temperatures to take, health questions to ask!  Yes, I’ve been increasingly cranky and impatient. I want to work harder to re-orient myself to a more open and forgiving (and PATIENT—NOW!) side of myself.  Off to my vale of soul making.

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